4 Reasons You Stay Up Too Late (and How to Stop)
- Eric Kaufmann
- May 23
- 4 min read
Updated: 2 days ago
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Hi Friend,
“I’m going to bed at 10 p.m.” might be the biggest lie I tell myself weekly.
Most nights, I end up doom-scrolling Instagram, reading The Surfer’s Journal, or doing random last-minute tasks that absolutely don’t need to get done. Then, I wake up groggy, behind, and irritated at the world (and myself).
Why do I keep doing this?
At 10 p.m., I sit on the couch and think, I should go to bed. But I don’t. I scroll, read, maybe start reorganizing a drawer. My brain resists shutting down like it’s clinging to the last shreds of free time.
This is what psychologists call revenge bedtime procrastination, or RBP for short. And even though the name sounds dramatic, it’s a very real problem that wreaks havoc on executive function.
This week, I’m sharing three strategies I’ve tested to manage RBP and to get to bed on time.
Let’s dive in.
What Is Revenge Bedtime Procrastination (RBP)?
RBP happens when we stay up late, not because we’re too busy, but because we’re trying to reclaim personal time we felt was missing from the day. It’s a form of protest against packed schedules, overstimulation, and not enough downtime.
For neurodivergent adults, especially those with ADHD, this often shows up as:
“One more episode.”
“Just 10 more minutes on Reddit.”
“Let me finally clean that one thing I ignored all day.”
It feels like self-care in the moment, but the next day… we pay the price.
Why Sleep Deprivation Destroys Executive Function
Sleep is essential for brain function. That’s especially true for executive function. When you’re running on fumes, EF struggles become amplified.
Emotional regulation → You snap at a partner or colleague and spiral into guilt.
Task initiation → You can’t get started on your report, misjudge how long it will take, and end up missing the deadline.
Working memory → You forget to pack your kid’s lunch, even though it was on your checklist, and start your day in chaos.
One study showed that in 1960, only 2% of adults got less than 7 hours of sleep. Today, it’s over 35%.
This universal lack of sleep has a serious impact on our health. According to the Sleep Foundation:
...chronic sleep deprivation is linked to heart disease, obesity, depression, and early death.
4 Reasons You Stay Up Too Late
RBP is especially common in adults with ADHD and other executive function challenges. Here's why:
Impulsivity → “Just one more scroll” turns into an hour.
Time blindness → You think it’s 10:30 p.m...it's actually 1:00 a.m.
Rumination → "Why did I say that? Everyone thinks I'm so weird now" keeps racing through your brain.
Poor planning/prioritization → You don’t mean to skip bedtime, but the task avalanche after work gets in the way.
3 Strategies to Go to Bed When You Want To
1. Work out what’s bothering you
If your mind is spinning about an email, a meeting, or a mistake, handle it before bed or write it down. Sometimes it’s worth staying up 10 extra minutes to calm your nervous system so you can sleep deeply.
One thing my co-founder, Sean, does is create a "To-Dread" list before bed, documenting any dreadful tasks he wants to remove from his mind and put on paper for the next day.
2. Create a meaningful wind-down rhythm
We can train our brains to get ready for sleep with an intentional rhythm. Everyone's ideal wind-down rhythm is different. Get curious and have fun creating one! Here's mine:
Wash dishes
Read
Charge my phone in the kitchen
Brush teeth
Put on my eye mask
3. Shrink your evening to-do list
The last-minute task avalanche is real. Set a rule: no more than 5 evening tasks. Or, use the Final 15! This is my short end-of-workday routine to plan, prioritize, and disconnect.
Bonus tip:
Spend time doing one thing just for yourself each day, intentionally. That way, you don’t feel like the whole day was for someone else. You’re less likely to try to reclaim time at night.
Summary
Revenge bedtime procrastination doesn’t mean you’re lazy or undisciplined. It means your executive function system is trying to protect you…but in a way that backfires.
With small, intentional shifts, you can establish a nighttime routine that balances both your need for rest and your desire for autonomy.
Work out or write down what’s bothering you
Create your ideal wind-down rhythm
Shrink your evening to-do list
In service,
Eric
P.S. Free Mini Course: Break the Procrastination Cycle
Procrastination can seriously impact your mental health, physical well-being, and financial freedom.
My free mini-course, Break the Procrastination Cycle, teaches the 4 emotions behind procrastination, how to spot them, and a proven toolkit to manage them—all in just 30 minutes
If you, or someone you care about, struggle with procrastination, this course is here to help.
About the Author
Eric Kaufmann is a Professional Educational Therapist and Certified Executive Function Coach. He is the Co-founder of UpSkill Specialists, an online adult executive function coaching company that guides adults in overcoming disorganization, procrastination, and productivity roadblocks so they can unlock their potential. He is also the founder of Elevate Learning Solutions, an Educational Therapy practice located in San Clemente, CA, that supports neurodivergent students in becoming independent and confident.
