Stay Present and Get More Done: Distractibility Delay Explained
- Eric Kaufmann
- Oct 10, 2023
- 6 min read
Updated: Oct 11
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Neurodivergent adults often struggle to maintain their attention on important tasks and during conversation. This leads to impulsively blurting out ideas, forgetting important to-dos, or getting sidetracked during the workday.
In this post, you'll learn a simple strategy to improve your attention while keeping track of ideas and thoughts that arise during work or meetings.
Table of Contents
Hi Friend,
Last week, I was in the middle of an email triage workblock when something very important popped into my mind: Butter! We’re out of butter!
Worried I’d forget to add it to the grocery list, I grabbed my phone. Five minutes later, I wasn’t in my Notes app; I was deep into surf coaching Instagram reels, convinced I was “learning something useful.”
30 minutes gone.
Inbox still full.
Stressed, “should-ing” on myself, realizing I wasted the little time I had between coaching sessions.
This struggle with attention and impulse control isn’t something new.
In 5th grade, I underwent an extensive psychological assessment to determine why I was struggling in school. I recently reviewed the assessment and noticed phrases like “always has his head in the clouds” and “appears to be listening but does not understand verbal directions”.
At the end of the assessment, the psychologist wrote, “High likelihood of ADHD”.
To this day, my friends, wife, and family will tell you that I often appear to be listening but actually have no clue what was said to me.
A few years ago, I learned about an evidence-based strategy to manage my wandering mind: distractibility delay.
Immediately, my focus improved. I wasn’t worried I would forget about important ideas that came to mind at the worst time, and I could sustain my attention on boring tasks for longer.
(Clearly, I wasn’t using it when “butter!” popped into my brain.)
Now it’s a strategy I teach to my adult executive function coaching clients. Today, I want to share it with you.
Let’s dive in.
What is Distractibility Delay (And Why It Works for ADHD)?
Throughout our busy days, our brains throw ideas, reminders, and curiosities at us nonstop:
Don’t forget to stop by the store after work.
You need to fix that spreadsheet.
I wonder what month great white sharks begin to migrate south?
Whether it’s during a Zoom call, at the dinner table, or when we are trying to lock into deep work, the flood of thoughts feels impossible to control. If you’re neurodivergent, I bet you understand.
That’s where distractibility delay comes in handy. It’s a strategy that improves executive function skills like focus, working memory, and impulse control.
The technique is straightforward:
→ Create a designated parking lot for stray thoughts
→ Every time something pops into your mind during work, a meeting, or a conversation, jot it down, then return to what you’re doing.
By writing these thoughts down and setting them aside temporarily, you can stay focused on the current task without fear of forgetting.
It sounds small (becuase it is), but the impact is noteworthy. It allows us to manage impulsive ideas and stay focused on one task long enough to finish.
Who Benefits From Using Distractibility Delay?
Ever find yourself trying to focus on one important task, but your brain is bouncing from one idea to the next?
Do you overshare during meetings or blurt out valuable solutions, just at the wrong moment?
Ever had that 'aha' moment during a busy day, only for it to vanish into thin air?
If so, distractibility delay can help.
According to research, “The average worker spends 51% of every workday on low to no-value tasks.” A lot of this is caused by jumping from one task or idea to another. And, for neurodivergent adults, this number is even higher.
When we bounce from one idea to the next, we end the day with many unfinished tasks and projects. This creates “mental tension,” which leads to stress.
With distractibility delay, you can maintain attention for longer periods of time while keeping track of other ideas that come to mind.
What Happens When We Don’t Manage Impulsive Thoughts?
When we don’t manage impulsive thoughts, they manage us.
Our attention gets yanked from one idea to the next.
Mid-email.
Mid-conversation
Mid-anything.
We convince ourselves, “This will only take a second,” but that “second” often turns into 20 minutes of Googling snow conditions in Japan (oops) or checking flights we’ll never actually book.
At work, that means losing our place in deep-focus tasks.
In meetings, it means blurting out half-baked ideas that could’ve been great if we’d given them a minute to simmer.
And at home, it means missing moments that actually matter because your brain is sprinting toward the next thing.
When we don’t capture those thoughts, they pile up like browser tabs, each one draining a little more mental energy.
When we are that drained of mental energy, we...
are too exhausted to spend time with family after work
forget to do small, yet important things
wake up feeling overwhelmed
Using a tool like distractibility delay gives those thoughts a safe place to land. You can offload them, come back to them later, and stay present with the people or task that deserves your full attention.
How do I Use Distractibility Delay to Improve Executive Function Skills?
1. Build a parking lot
Grab a blank sheet of paper. Or, if you're a techlover, open up a Google Doc or the Notes app.
Then, title the top of it “parking lot”.
2. Park your thoughts
Set a timer for a focused work session. I recommend starting small. Try 15-30 minutes.
When a thought pops into your mind, pause, write it down in your “parking lot”, and return to the task at hand.
Butter! Great white sharks. Dentist on Thursday at 1 PM.
3. Reflect
When the timer goes off, look at your “parking lot” and take one of three actions:
Complete tasks that need to be done right away.
Add tasks to your calendar, to-do list, grocery list, etc.
Cross off unimportant stuff.
Often, I write down items to put on my calendar for later in the week or on my to-do list for later in the day.
4. Throw away the parking lot
When you are done with the day, review your parking lot one last time, decide how to handle what’s left, and then throw away the piece of paper or delete everything from the doc.
This clears the deck and ensures we don’t end up with a bunch of random lists (we probably have enough of those anyway).
Tossing out that piece of paper is weirdly satisfying.
What if I Still Feel an Urge to do “The Thing”?
When we add something to our parking lot, we offload it from our working memory. However, sometimes, we will feel an urge to still attend to the thought.
Self-talk is the key here.
If you’re still feeling the urge to do “the thing”, create a positive coping statement that you can tell yourself. For example:
“I will find time to do this later.”
“This is important, but not my priority.”
“This is not an urgent task right now.”
Sometimes, I write one of these phrases at the top of my parking lot. It’s a helpful reminder and a visual cue that keeps me on track.
Summary
Distractibility delay helps neurodivergent adults with ADHD or autism manage attention, improve executive function skills, and feel more in control of their focus.
By parking your thoughts, you’ll:
Stay focused longer
Reduce impulsivity
Free up your working memory
Improve emotional regulation
Here’s how to implement distractibility delay this week:
Create a parking lot for your stray thoughts on a piece of paper, Google Doc, or Note.
During meetings, deep work, or conversion, jot down ideas or reminders that come to mind.
Afterward, review your parking lot and take action on what needs to be done.
Clear your parking lot at the end of the day (we don’t need another random list in our lives)
Truly, this strategy changed the way I operate. It’s made me more focused, intentional, and present. I hope it also helps you.
In service,
Eric
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About the author
Eric Kaufmann is an Educational Therapist, Certified Executive Function Coach, and speaker. He is the Co-founder of UpSkill Specialists, an executive function coaching company that helps adults and workplace teams overcome disorganization, procrastination, and productivity roadblocks. Eric is also the founder of Elevate Learning Solutions, an Educational Therapy practice that supports neurodivergent students in becoming independent and confident. Book Eric to speak or lead a workshop.
