A Simple Strategy to Improve Your Follow-Through as a Neurodivergent Adult
- Eric Kaufmann
- 6 days ago
- 6 min read
Updated: 1 day ago
TL;DR: If you struggle to follow through on daily tasks, micro goals, or long-term goals, you're not alone. The real issue is often an executive function gap that shows up as overwhelm, low motivation, and that familiar shame spiral of “Why can’t I just do this?”
In this article, you’ll learn a simple, research-backed strategy called mental contrasting that helps you anticipate obstacles, coach yourself through them, and finally build the follow-through you’ve been wanting.
Table of Contents:
Hi Friend,
Planning has always been one of my executive function strengths. Following through on said plan? Not so much…
At least that’s how I used to be.
Many of my adult executive function coaching clients come to me with a similar story.
They know what to do. They make a plan to do it. But they rarely follow through.
Here’s a perfect example:
Last Sunday, I felt motivated and ready to tackle the day! I blocked out my calendar with specific tasks: surf, grocery store, January budget update (I might be procrastinating that one), meal prep, and email.
Nothing too wild. I have plenty of time! Or so I thought.
By 3:00 pm, I’d gone for a surf…and that was it.
Then, negative self-talk rolled in:
“What’s wrong with you?”
“What have you even been doing all day?”
“Now, there’s no way you can get all of that done now.”
The stress built as I realized I now needed to find time to budget, shop, meal prep, and catch up on email in my busy work week.
A lot of the slip-ups occur because we are accidentally unrealistic.
We plan with the most focused, high-energy version of ourselves in mind without considering what we will do if things go awry.
Here’s what I’ve learned as an executive function coach and as a neurodivergent adult:
Follow-through is about anticipation.
Today, I’m going to ask you to use your imagination.
Picture a milky white crystal ball sitting in your hands. As you look into it, a future version of yourself begins to appear…bear with me…let’s dive in.
Why We Struggle to Follow Through
Many adults with ADHD, who are autistic or otherwise neurodivergent, struggle with executive function skills like task initiation, planning, and cognitive flexibility.
These executive function gaps amount to a common frustration: follow-through.
We set goals from a hopeful, inspired state of mind. We plan for our best self.
Then, life happens. We are busy, tired, overwhelmed, or distracted.
That gap is where follow-through dies.
We tell ourselves we’ll “try harder” or “I need to be more disciplined,” but effort and discipline aren’t the issue.
Over time, we lose trust in ourselves. We create plans and set goals, but deep down, there’s a defeating feeling. We don’t believe we can follow through.
Each unfinished task, goal we give up on, or missed deadline at work compiles. Eventually, if this goes on long enough, we give up.
We tell ourselves we aren’t smart enough, don’t have the discipline to be successful, and stop trying.
I promise this isn’t true. You can figure it out. You can learn how to follow through.
This is where mental contrasting comes in.
The Crystal Ball Strategy for Improving Follow-Through in Neurodivergent Adults
Remember that crystal ball from before? I’d like you to pick it up again.
Milky white. Swirling. A little dramatic…stick with me here.
In that crystal ball, you see the end of your week. And in this future, you did not follow through on your goals.
Yes, that’s right. You didn’t go to the gym three times. You didn’t get up when your alarm went off. You didn’t do your new morning routine.
Now ask yourself...
from a place of curiosity, not criticism: "What are the top three reasons I couldn’t follow through?"
This strategy is called mental contrasting.
It’s a research-based approach developed by psychologist Gabriele Oettingen. It increases the likelihood that we will achieve our goals by helping us anticipate obstacles before they derail us.
It’s especially useful for neurodivergent adults who want to improve executive function skills and follow-through.
The key is your tone.
This is not an interrogation. This is not the time to beat yourself up.
You’re a curious scientist, investigating a hypothetical future so that you can learn.
How Can I Improve My Follow Through?
I use mental contrasting with all of my executive function coaching clients. Here’s how it works:
Let’s say your micro goal is to go to the gym twice this week and complete your Final 15 three times.
You look into the crystal ball and predict three reasons why you couldn’t follow through:
Reason 1:
I was unmotivated and didn’t want to go.
Reason 2:
I ran out of time.
Reason 3:
I forgot because the end of the day got chaotic.
Now comes the most important step: Generate solutions.
This is where executive function growth happens. This is where self-talk shifts from critical to coaching.
“If I feel unmotivated, I’ll remind myself why being fit matters and commit to just 10 minutes.”
“If I don’t have time for the gym, I’ll do a 20-minute bodyweight workout in my living room. I can even ask ChatGPT to make one or pull up a YouTube video.”
“I’ll put a sticky note on the back of my office door that says ‘Final 15’, so I see it before I leave the office.”
Notice what changed.
We didn’t assume failure.
We didn’t shame ourselves.
We built a bridge between intention and reality.
When we mentally contrast, we stop pretending obstacles won’t exist.
We plan for low motivation.
We plan for time pressure.
We plan for distraction.
Instead of that murky feeling in the back of your mind that your plan probably won’t work, you feel prepared.
Summary
If you want to improve executive function skills and increase follow-through, you need to begin predicting the future.
Mental contrasting helps you anticipate obstacles, create realistic solutions, and coach yourself through daily tasks, micro goals, and long-term goals.
Here’s how it works:
Set one micro goal for the week. Keep it small.
Mentally contrast: identify the top three reasons it might not happen.
Generate one simple solution for each obstacle.
That’s it.
Honest anticipation and supportive self-talk. This is what we are aiming for.
In service,
Eric
FAQs:
Why do adults with ADHD or autism struggle with follow-through?
Many adults with ADHD or autism struggle with executive function skills such as planning, emotional regulation, and task initiation. We often set goals from a calm, motivated state but try to execute them in a stressed, distracted, or low-energy state. That gap is where goals fall apart. Mental contrasting helps close that gap by planning for real-life obstacles instead of assuming our best self will show up every time.
What is mental contrasting, and how does it improve follow-through?
Mental contrasting is a research-based strategy developed by psychologist Gabriele Oettingen that improves the likelihood that we will achieve our goals. Instead of just setting an intention, you imagine a future where you did not follow through and identify the top three reasons it didn’t work. Then you generate simple solutions in advance. This helps neurodivergent adults strengthen executive function skills like task initiation, planning, and cognitive flexibility, making follow-through more likely.
How can I improve my executive function skills to follow through on daily tasks and goals?
To improve executive function skills and increase follow-through, start small. Set one micro goal for the week. Then mentally contrast by asking yourself the top three reasons it might not happen. Finally, generate one realistic solution for each obstacle. This shifts your self-talk from criticism to coaching and helps you build a bridge between intention and action.
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About the Author
Eric Kaufmann is an Educational Therapist, Certified Executive Function Coach, and speaker. He is the Co-founder of UpSkill Specialists, an executive function coaching company that helps adults and workplace teams overcome disorganization, procrastination, and productivity roadblocks.
Want to learn more about 1:1 coaching? Click here.
Interested in hosting a workshop for your team or company on how to improve executive function skills in the workplace? Click here.
Looking for guidance on how to become an adult executive function coach? Click here.
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