How to Improve Executive Function Skills for Adults
- Eric Kaufmann
- 8 hours ago
- 7 min read
TL;DR: This post is for adults who feel overwhelmed, stuck, or behind because planning, focus, and follow-through feel harder than they should.
You’ll learn what executive function skills actually are, why some neurodivergent people struggle with them, and how three core skills shape daily life. Most importantly, you’ll walk away with practical, research-backed ways to improve adult executive function skills without trying to “fix” yourself.
Table of Contents
Hi Friend,
When I was a teacher, Sundays were supposed to be my “get my life together” day.
Papers to grade.
Graduate schoolwork to complete.
Laundry. Grocery shopping. Cleaning. Finances.
I needed my brain firing on all cylinders each Sunday.
Instead, most weeks, my executive function skills were completely offline.
One week in particular stands out:
I sat down to grade, but froze. A messy stack of essays stared at me, at least a foot tall. That's going to take hours...I can't right now.
So, I tried to update my budget. But anxiety tossed me into a doom scroll. 45 minutes later, in an effort to finally get something done, I went to the grocery store.
That was mildly successful. I bought food...but forgot the key ingredients for a dinner I wanted to meal prep.
By the evening, some things were technically done, but it didn’t feel that way. Instead, I was overwhelmed, feeling behind, and guilty for wasting the day.
Sundays were never restorative. They never amounted to the productive day I planned. And I’d go to bed dreading Monday with a mental list of things I “should have finished” looping in my head.
I should have woken up earlier.
I should have finished that assignment.
I should have been able to get to the gym and meal prep.
Not a great way to live. And yet, thousands of adults experience versions of this every single week.
So, how do some people handle stressful, busy weeks with greater ease?
It’s not willpower. It’s not grit. And it’s not motivation. It’s executive function.
According to Dr. Adele Diamond, there are three key executive function skills for adulthood: working memory, cognitive flexibility, and inhibitory control.
Today, I want to help you understand what each skill actually does and how to start improving your executive function skills without trying to “fix yourself.”
Let’s dive in.
The Three Executive Function Skills That Power Adult Life
Executive function skills live in the prefrontal cortex (a part of our brain directly behind the forehead) and help us manage thoughts, emotions, and actions.
Dr. Adele Diamond, a leading executive function researcher, believes there are three core executive function skills:
Working memory
Cognitive flexibility
Inhibitory control
When these skills are strong or well supported, we plan, adapt, and regulate fluidly. But when stress, lack of sleep, anxiety, or overwhelm kick in, these skills are the first to go offline.
This is why high-stress days feel incredibly harder: the skills that help us stay calm, plan, and execute aren’t working at full capacity.
This is especially true for adults who have weaker executive function skills.
Most commonly, neurodivergent adults, like those with ADHD or who are autistic, need more support in developing systems to improve executive function. However, neurotypical people can also benefit from intentional development of executive function skills.
The good news is this: gaps in executive function skills can be supported with systems.
What Happens When We Have Weak Executive Function?
When someone has a natural weakness in one domain of executive function, they often feel like they are broken.
Adults with weak executive function report feeling behind, higher levels of stress, and struggling deeply with procrastination. They might play the comparison game and wonder how others get promotions, keep their homes clean, are on time to every appointment, and exercise three times per week.
Below are explanations of the three executive function skills, as defined by Dr. Adele Diamond:
Inhibitory Control
Inhibitory control is our ability to pause before acting.
When it’s weak, we might:
Impulse spend and regret it later
Speak out of turn in meetings
Jump into tasks without thinking through the steps or how it impacts others
Say yes too quickly and feel overwhelmed later
Dr. Russell Barkley calls inhibitory control the foundation of all executive function skills.
Cognitive Flexibility
Cognitive flexibility is our ability to create and shift plans, perspectives, or expectations.
When it’s weak:
A last-minute change in a project at work creates stress and frustration that throws off our entire day
A change in weekend plans feels unbearable
When there’s a lot to do and not enough time, we freeze, unable to plan or take action
The opposite of flexible thinking is rigid thinking, a sign of weak cognitive flexibility. This often shows up for autistic adults, and it can quietly drain one’s energy, willpower, and motivation.
Working Memory
Working memory helps us hold and manipulate information in our minds.
When it struggles:
We forget what was said in meetings
We need to reread the same paragraph repeatedly
We misplace items constantly
Large projects feel overwhelming because we cannot break down the steps in our heads
Most of us find our working memory takes a hit when we are in a rush, frustrated, or have the dreaded feeling of “so much to do, not enough time.”
That’s because stress consumes working memory.
What Most Adults Get Wrong About Executive Function
Most people view struggles with executive function as personal flaws. One of my adult executive function coaching clients recently said:
“I’m just not motivated, and my memory is horrible. Why am I like this? I hate it.”
This is a fair and common reaction to years of feeling like a failure. But negative self-talk doesn’t help us move forward. Instead, we can take a three-step approach to improving adult executive function skills:
Identify one skill that we struggle with (I recommend using a no-cost self-assessment to determine this).
Create or choose an external support that addresses the executive function gap.
Test and adjust
Think of yourself as a curious scientist on a mission to discover how your brain truly works.
How to Improve Executive Function Skills
Below is a list of strategies and articles that help improve working memory, cognitive flexibility, and inhibitory control.
Before you read on, keep the three steps of a curious scientist in mind. And remember, this takes time and patience. We can’t improve executive function skills overnight or all at once.
Take it slow. Choose one skill. Test one strategy. Then go from there.
Strategies to support inhibitory control
Overall, the goal is to create more pauses in our days. Here are three popular ways to do so:
Practice the inhibitory pause before acting
Use distractibility delay for impulses
Intentionally monotask when possible
Keep this in mind: Discipline and willpower are limited resources. We only have so much each day. They aren’t something to be relied upon.
Strategies to support cognitive flexibility
Becoming a flexible thinker takes self-awareness and intentionality. These strategies truly help:
Notice the scenarios in which rigid thinking shows up and journal them in a notebook, Google Doc, or note on your phone.
Use implementation intentions to write “if-then” plans ahead of time.
Practice small flexibility reps like changing the way you dry yourself off after a shower or routes on the way to work.
Keep this in mind: flexibility improves with time, not force. Be patient and kind to yourself.
Strategies to support working memory
The key to better working memory isn't found in a brain game. It's all about how you offload:
Write everything down. Always.
Use checklists and external memory boards.
Break projects into visible steps.
Use calendars and reminders that work with your brain.
Keep this in mind: If your brain says, “I’ll remember later,” it’s lying. That’s your cue to write it down.
Summary
Adult life feels harder when core executive function skills like working memory, cognitive flexibility, and inhibitory control are overloaded.
This is common for neurodivergent adults, like those with ADHD and who are autistic. But neurotypical adults also struggle, especially those who experience high levels of stress.
Thanks to neuroplasticity, we can improve our executive function skills, even in adulthood. If you’re unsure where to start, I recommend using these steps:
Identify one executive function skills gap (I recommend taking a no-cost self-assessment).
Choose one strategy designed to support the skill you identified (check out my list of specific strategies above).
Test, adjust, refine.
Once you can name the executive function skill that’s getting in your way, you can choose a strategy that fills the gap.
And, with the right systems, we can make adulting feel more manageable.
I hope this helps you take one small step toward living the life you dream of.
In service,
Eric
FAQs
What are executive function skills?
Executive function skills are the brain-based skills that help adults manage thoughts, emotions, and actions so they can plan, adapt, and follow through in daily life.
According to Adele Diamond, there are three core executive function skills that power adulthood: working memory, cognitive flexibility, and inhibitory control. These skills live in the prefrontal cortex and allow us to pause before acting, hold information in mind, shift plans when needed, and regulate behavior under stress. When stress, lack of sleep, anxiety, or overwhelm increase, these skills are often the first to go offline, which is why adult life can suddenly feel much harder.
Why are executive function skills important for adults?
Adults can improve executive function skills by using external systems that support the brain rather than trying to rely on willpower, motivation, or discipline alone.
Research on neuroplasticity shows that the brain can change and strengthen skills across the lifespan. A practical, evidence-based approach is to first identify which executive function skill is weakest, then choose a strategy designed specifically to support that skill, and finally test and adjust over time.
How can I improve my executive function skills as an adult?
Executive function skills are essential for managing adult responsibilities like work, relationships, finances, health, and daily routines. When these skills are weak or overloaded, adults often experience chronic stress, procrastination, emotional overwhelm, and a constant feeling of being behind.
Strong or well-supported executive function skills help adults adapt to change, manage stress more effectively, and make adult life feel more manageable rather than constantly exhausting.
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About the Author
Eric Kaufmann is an Educational Therapist, Certified Executive Function Coach, and speaker. He is the Co-founder of UpSkill Specialists, an executive function coaching company that helps adults and workplace teams overcome disorganization, procrastination, and productivity roadblocks.
Want to learn more about 1:1 coaching? Click here.
Interested in hosting a workshop for your team or company on how to improve executive function skills in the workplace? Click here.
Looking for guidance on how to become an adult executive function coach? Click here.