Why Can't I Do Easy Tasks?
Updated: 3 days ago
I’m going to come clean about something… “Schedule annual physical” has been on my to-do list since my birthday… which was in April.
It’s been almost six months, and I still haven’t done it.
For the longest time, I couldn’t understand why. Scheduling a doctor’s appointment should be easy, right?
I’ve tried everything:
It’s on my to-do list.
I set reminders on my phone.
I asked my wife to remind me.
Nothing worked.
Then, last week, it hit me: this “easy” task isn’t actually easy for me.
Others schedule doctor appointments without a second thought. But for me, this seemingly simple task isn’t so simple.
If you have ADHD or weaker executive function skills, I bet you relate.
Why Can't I Do Easy Tasks?
Are there things in your life that are easy for others but difficult for you?
Maybe it’s...
Remembering to check the calendar in the morning
Folding clean clothes
Paying bills on time
We often confuse the definitions of easy and simple. Then, we beat ourselves up for struggling to follow through on tasks that are truly difficult for us.
Negative self-talk floods our minds, causing shame, guilt, and anxiety. This might sound like:
“I always forget important things and mess up; I’ll never be as organized as I need to be."
Today, I will teach you how to shift your mindset, accept that some tasks are difficult, and be kinder to yourself.
In return, our self-talk, mood, and confidence can grow!
Let's dive in.
What is the Difference Between Easy and Simple?
We often confuse two words: easy and simple.
Easy is subjective. What’s easy for one person may be hard for another. Simple is objective. It requires one step.
In life, there aren’t many simple tasks.
Doing laundry is not simple.
Getting to work on time is not simple.
Meal planning and cooking is not simple.
While these may be easy for some, they are complex, requiring multiple steps and fine-tuned executive function skills.
Remember that doctor’s appointment I still haven’t scheduled? It’s not that easy. Let’s think about the steps:
Find a doctor (I moved last year).
Call their office and make sure they take my insurance.
Book the appointment.
Add it to my calendar.
Set notifications.
All of this while dealing with the anxiety of potentially receiving bad news during the appointment. No wonder this task is so difficult for me!
The Executive Function Shame Spiral
Because we are all uniquely wired, what’s easy for some might be hard for you.
If we aren’t aware of this, we berate ourselves for not doing “easy” things. We develop shame, destroy our confidence, and form inaccurate beliefs about our abilities.
This creates a shame spiral.
“Why can’t I just do it? It should be easy!”
When we shame ourselves for not doing one thing, our negative self-talk spirals out of control. It clouds our prefrontal cortex and hinders our executive functions.
And so, emotional dysregulation ensues.
The rest of the day can become a mess. We struggle to remember things, initiate other tasks, and manage stress levels.
This is the executive function shame spiral. It’s really difficult to escape once it begins.
Instead, we can get ahead of it by reframing our mindset around “easy” tasks.
Acceptance is Key
Understanding the difference between what seems easy and what is truly simple can shift our mindset and help us show ourselves more compassion.
It’s not about giving up; it’s about acknowledging that some tasks are genuinely challenging for us, even if they seem easy to others.
And, that’s okay.
Here’s how you can start reframing your mindset:
Identify Your “Should-Be-Easy” Tasks: Pick 1-3 tasks that you believe should be easy but find difficult. Maybe it’s booking an appointment, paying a bill, or even responding to an email.
Acknowledge the Difficulty: Write down the emotions that arise when you think about this task—frustration, anxiety, guilt. Acknowledging these feelings is the first step to overcoming them.
Reframe Your Self-Talk: Remind yourself, “This task isn’t actually easy; it’s challenging for me, and that’s okay.”
Take a Tiny First Step: Add the very first, smallest step to your to-do list for this week. It should be so manageable that you’d almost feel silly not doing it—like finding the phone number or opening the bill.
By acknowledging these tasks are difficult, we can stop the executive function shame spiral and start building a more compassionate inner dialogue.
The next time you find yourself stuck, pause. Recognize the challenge, give yourself grace, and take that first, tiny step.
Slowly, you’ll notice the difference as your confidence and self-acceptance grow.
You’ve got this!
TL;DR
We often confuse simple tasks with easy ones. There's a difference! Simple tasks take just one step. Easy tasks are subjective: what’s easy for some can be difficult for others.
Understanding this can help us stop negative self-talk and develop more compassion for ourselves. Here are four steps to reframe your mindset:
Identify Your “Should-Be-Easy” Tasks: Choose 1-3 tasks that seem easy but are difficult for you.
Acknowledge the Difficulty: Write down the emotions you feel about these tasks, like frustration or guilt. Accepting these feelings is the first step.
Reframe Your Self-Talk: Remind yourself, “This task isn’t actually easy for me, and that’s okay.”
Take a Tiny First Step: Break the task into the smallest, most manageable step and add it to your to-do list.
Are you ready to improve your executive function skills?
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Other Resources
About the Author
Eric Kaufmann, M.Ed is a Professional Educational Therapist and Certified Executive Function Coach. He is the Co-founder of UpSkill Specialists, an online adult executive function coaching company designed to guide adults in overcoming disorganization, procrastination, and productivity roadblocks so they can unlock their potential. Eric is also the founder of Elevate Learning Solutions, an Educational Therapy practice located in San Clemente, CA, that guides students with neurological differences toward becoming independent and confident students and self-leaders.
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