Why Do I Make Impulsive Decisions?
- Eric Kaufmann
- 2 hours ago
- 6 min read
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According to Dr. Russel Barkley, inhibition (or impulse control) is the most important executive function skill. Yet, many neurodivergent adults find themselves impulse shopping, interrupting conversations, or reacting in a way they later regret.
In this post, we dive into a strategy to improve our inhibition–the inhibitory pause.
Table of Contents
Hi Friend,
I love and hate Black Friday shopping. Love the deals. Hate how it ends with me buying more for myself than for anyone on my gift list. It's really a giant test of inhibition, an executive function skill I am still working on.
Inhibition is a core executive function that involves the ability to control impulses and override automatic responses to choose a more appropriate or goal-oriented behavior.
But it's connected to much more than impulse buying.
Have you ever intended to send a few emails only to “wake up” 45 minutes later with 12 tabs open, halfway through three tasks you didn’t mean to start, wondering how you got there?
Yep, I’ve been there too. Weak inhibition can lead us down all sorts of rabbit holes.
If you have ADHD, are autistic, or otherwise neurodivergent, know this: struggling with inhibition isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a signal of an executive function skill worth focusing on.
According to Dr. Russell Barkley, inhibition is the core executive function skill that every other EF skill depends on. Planning, emotional regulation, task initiation, and self-monitoring can't come online without the ability to pause before acting.
Today, I want to share a tool based on Barkley’s work that can help us control our impulses and strengthen inhibition. It’s called the spinhibitory pause.
Let’s dive in.
Why Do Neurodivergent Adults Make Impulsive Decisions?
In Barkley’s model of executive function, inhibition is the foundational skill. That's becuase it allows us to regulate emotions, sustain attention, think before acting, and pursue long-term goals.
Barkley breaks inhibition into three parts:
Inhibiting your initial response: not doing or saying the first thing that pops into your mind.
Stopping or interrupting behavior once it has already started: pausing or catching yourself once you’re off track.
Protecting working memory from interference: preventing internal and external distractions from derailing your intentions.
If this system is weak, we make impulsive decisions, and every downstream executive function skill suffers.
The Risks of Weak Inhibition For Neurodivergent Adults
When inhibition is compromised, neurodivergent adults often face many challenges:
We set health goals but rarely make progress. Then, instead of going to bed by 10 pm as planned, we doom scroll, sleep poorly, and start the next day exhausted.
We interrupt in meetings or send messages too quickly without proofreading. At work, we’re viewed as unprofessional. And, creating meaningful relationships is tough because we jump from topic to topic in conversation, leaving others feeling like we don’t care what they have to say.
We know what to do, but can’t seem to do it. No matter how "easy" the task is, procrastination holds us back.
Emotions surge quickly. We react before we have time to understand what we’re feeling, whether it be in anger, sadness, or frustration.
We make impulsive purchases that we later regret.
If you’re nodding along to any of these, I have some positive news: inhibition is a skill that can be strengthened.
5 Steps to Greater Impulse Control (The Inhibitory Pause Strategy)
According to Barkley, when we improve inhibitory control, we strengthen every other executive function skill.
Impressive, right?
One of the most effective strategies is the Inhibitory Pause, sometimes called the 5 Second Brake.
This strategy teaches your brain to override the urge to act impulsively, giving your working memory time to catch up.
Here’s how it works:
Step 1: Notice the urge
This is the hardest step. Most of us don’t notice the urge until we’re already off track. Instead of relying on internal awareness, we can let the environment cue us to notice the urge.
Write a list of the places and moments in which your impulses take over. Maybe it’s…
Opening the laptop
Picking up the phone
Starting a boring chore
Stepping foot inside a Target
Then, choose one to focus on.
Step 2: Say the cue word
Choose a short phrase that signals your brain to stop. For example:
Pause.
Hold.
Not yet.
Slow.
Step 3: Count to 10 slowly
After saying the cue word, count to 10 silently, out loud, or using your fingers.
This pauses us long enough for our working memory to catch up and for our prefrontal cortex to regain control.
Step 4: Ask one guiding question
Pick only one:
What’s the goal here?
What’s the next best action?
Will this move me forward or sideways?
What would future-me want?
Now our internal speech is activated and in control, not our impulses.
Step 5: Choose the deliberate action
At the end of the pause, choose to:
Proceed
Modify
Stop or delay
Write it down for later
At this point, you can make an intentional decision.
Summary
According to Dr. Russel Barkley, the most important adult executive function skill is response inhibition. That's our ability to manage our impulsive thoughts and behaviors so that we take intentional action.
When we learn to control our inhibition, we stop impulsive shopping, develop stronger relationships, feel more confident at work, and make decisions we are proud of.
My challenge for you this week: choose one area to practice Barkley's inhibitory pause.
Here’s how:
Identify one environment in which you are most impulsive.
Create a cue word to remind your brain to pause.
Count to 10.
Ask yourself, “What would future-me want?”
Take intentional action.
Whether it’s opening your laptop, picking up your phone, or sitting down in a meeting, keep this in mind: the goal is progress, not perfection.
You are building a new executive function skill, one small pause at a time. Be patient. Be kind. Stay curious.
In service,
Eric
FAQs
Why do adults with ADHD make impulsive decisions?
Impulsive decisions often come from challenges with inhibition, the core executive function skill Dr. Russell Barkley identifies as the foundation for every other EF skill. Inhibition allows us to regulate emotions, sustain attention, think before acting, and pursue long-term goals.
Barkley breaks inhibition into three parts:
Catching the first reaction that pops into your mind.
Interrupting a behavior once you’ve already started.
Protecting working memory from distractions.
When this system is weak, neurodivergent adults make quick decisions they later regret and struggle to control impulses in work, relationships, and daily life.
How does weak inhibition affect daily life for neurodivergent adults?
Weak inhibition affects nearly every area of life. It can cause us to:
Set goals but make little progress because procrastination gets in the way.
Interrupt in meetings or send messages too quickly, which can seem unprofessional.
Jump from topic to topic in conversation, straining relationships.
Let emotions surge quickly and react before understanding what we’re feeling.
Make impulsive purchases that we later regret.
These challenges aren’t character flaws. They’re signs of an executive function skill that can be strengthened.
How can I improve my impulse control?
The Inhibitory Pause (also called the 5 Second Brake) is an evidence-based strategy from Dr. Russell Barkley that teaches your brain to override the urge to act impulsively.
It works by pausing long enough for the prefrontal cortex and working memory to catch up. The steps include noticing the urge, saying a cue word (“Pause,” “Hold,” “Not yet”), counting to 10, asking one guiding question (such as “What would future-me want?”), and then choosing a deliberate action.
This strategy strengthens response inhibition, which improves every other executive function skill, including emotional regulation, task initiation, planning, and self-monitoring.
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About the Author
Eric Kaufmann is an Educational Therapist, Certified Executive Function Coach, and speaker. He is the Co-founder of UpSkill Specialists, an executive function coaching company that helps adults and workplace teams overcome disorganization, procrastination, and productivity roadblocks. Eric is also the founder of Elevate Learning Solutions, an Educational Therapy practice that supports neurodivergent students in becoming independent and confident. Book Eric to speak or lead a workshop.
