How I Built My Cognitive Flexibility (Tips for Neurodivergent Adults)
- Eric Kaufmann
- Jun 27
- 4 min read
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Hi Friend,
In college, once I discovered that routines helped fill the gaps in my executive function skills, I went all in.
I color-coded my planner.
Mapped out weekly goals.
Built a morning rhythm that required no thinking.
Even turned Sundays into weekly planning days.
And honestly, it worked!
...until it didn’t.
The moment something disrupted my routine, like canceled plans, a missed workout, or a surprise visitor, my day collapsed like a Jenga tower.
Anxious.
Irritable.
Spiraling.
After taking an executive function assessment, I learned that one of my executive function challenges is cognitive flexibility: the ability to adapt when things don’t go as planned.
But that all changed when I learned about implementation intentions. See, cognitive flexibility is a skill. Implementation intentions are how you build it. Now, I teach this strategy to all of my clients.
Today, I'm giving you the inside scoop and showing you how to use implementation intentions to become a flexible thinker.
Let’s dive in.
Why is Cognitive Flexibility Important?
Cognitive flexibility (aka flexible thinking) is the ability to revise plans in the face of obstacles, setbacks, new information, or mistakes (Dawson & Guare). It’s the opposite of rigid thinking. Instead of spiraling when plans go sideways, flexible thinkers adapt and move forward.
For many neurodivergent adults, like those with ADHD, Autism, OCD, or anxiety, cognitive flexibility isn't natural. When something doesn’t go as planned…cue the stress response.
But flexible thinking is a trainable skill. And it pays off in every area of life:
At work
You’re halfway through a project when your boss walks in and says, “We’re shifting direction”. Instead of panicking, you open a new tab and say, “Alright, let’s map it out.”
In relationships
Your partner cancels date night last minute because they’re overwhelmed. Instead of taking it personally, you order their favorite takeout.
In daily life
You're running late and hit unexpected traffic. Instead of blaming yourself for losing track of time, you take a breath and turn on your favorite song without letting it ruin your morning.
What Does Rigid Thinking Look Like?
If you tend to be a rigid thinker (like me), here are a few examples you might recognize:
At work
A project is almost done, and then a stakeholder changes direction. You feel thrown off for the rest of the day, get nothing done, and think, “Why do I even try?”
In relationships
Your partner suggests changing weekend plans, and you immediately shut down, saying, “But we already have reservations, I'm not calling to cancel."
In daily life
You block off time for your favorite fitness class, but the school calls, and your child is sick. You tell yourself, “Well, the whole day’s ruined now,” and don't do anything active.
We all have these moments. But, like every executive function skill, you can learn how to be a more flexible thinker using implementation intentions, like my client (see the video below).
How I Built My Cognitive Flexibility
I became a flexible thinker by intentionally writing one implementation intention each day.
Implementation intentions are “if–then” statements that prepare you for obstacles. They help you plan and think flexibly before something throws you off. Then, when the unexpected happens, you don’t have to think; you follow the plan you made.
Here’s how to write one:
1) Pick a small goal or task you want to follow through on.
→ Eat a healthy dinner tonight.
2) Anticipate a realistic obstacle that might get in your way.
→ I get stuck at work and, on my way home, traffic is horrendous.
3) Choose a solution that feels doable.
→ Ask ChatGPT for a healthy recipe using 5 ingredients I have.
4) Write it out: “If [obstacle], then I will [solution].”
→ "If I get stuck at work and traffic is horrendous, then I will use AI to help me cook a healthy, easy dinner."
A few examples from my clients:
“If I’m too tired after work to go to the gym, then I’ll go for a 10-minute walk.”
“If I catch myself procrastinating on Friday’s notes, then I’ll set a 5-minute timer and start.”
“If I feel anxious before work, then I’ll do three rounds of box breathing.”
Bringing It All Together
Becoming a flexible thinker will improve your work, relationships, and daily life. You will follow through more often, become more adaptable, and feel less stress. But this executive function skill doesn’t come naturally for many neurodivergent people. Luckily, you can build it.
Implementation intentions are a simple, powerful way to start. They take 30 seconds to write and can save your whole day. Here's how:
Anticipate an obstacle that could get in the way
Generate a solution
Write it out: “If…then I will…”
By doing this each week, you’re building a more flexible version of you.
If you’re feeling motivated, I have a challenge for you: send me an email with one implementation intention you can use today.
Here’s your chance to build cognitive flexibility. Don’t overthink it. Just go for it.
In service,
Eric
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About the Author
Eric Kaufmann is a Professional Educational Therapist and Certified Executive Function Coach. He is the Co-founder of UpSkill Specialists, an online adult executive function coaching company that guides adults in overcoming disorganization, procrastination, and productivity roadblocks so they can unlock their potential. He is also the founder of Elevate Learning Solutions, an Educational Therapy practice located in San Clemente, CA, that supports neurodivergent students in becoming independent and confident.
