How to Set Goals That Stick (A Guide for Neurodivergent Brains)
- Eric Kaufmann
- 2 days ago
- 10 min read
Updated: 20 hours ago
TL;DR: If you’ve ever set goals, felt motivated for a week, and then completely fallen off, this is for you.
It’s not a discipline problem. It’s an executive function problem. This guide will show you a simple, evidence-based system designed for neurodivergent brains so you can finally follow through, stay consistent, and rebuild trust in yourself.
Table of Contents
Hi Friend,
Last week, when I reflected on the goals I set in January, I was surprised.
Sadly, I wasn’t surprised by how much I achieved. Instead, I was shocked by how much I'd forgotten.
In January, I wrote what I thought were meaningful goals.
One book per month.
A new financial planner.
More intentional time with friends.
I remember thinking, “This is going to be a good year!”
Then life happened.
As I drifted back into my normal routines, I knew I was off track, but I was busy. Really busy. And when I finally sat down to reflect, I had barely made progress.
Here comes the negative self-talk…
Why even bother setting goals?
I can’t be consistent.
Nothing sticks. Nothing works.
It’s defeating, right?
I used to think the solution was SMART goals. I learned about them in graduate school. Talked about them in sessions. I used them myself!
It seemed like the most evidence-based way to write goals. Turns out, they aren't designed for neurodivergent brains, like mine.
It’s not about a lack of discipline, willpower, and motivation. It’s the goal-setting strategy we are using.
SMART goals don’t account for executive dysfunction, a common challenge for neurodivergent adults.
SMART goals assume we will naturally plan action steps into our weeks, can magically be consistent, and feel rewarded just for completing a small step.
Most neurodivergent brains don’t operate this way.
We have days and weeks when we are on it. Focused. Productive. Locked in.
And then we have a week where we are totally off. Our energy drops. Our attention wavers. And suddenly, we’ve missed a week at the gym, and restarting feels impossible.
So we fall off.
The years of starting and stopping goals lead to a loss of self-trust.
The dropped routines impact our physical and mental health.
Our inconsistency slows career growth.
And we are hyper-aware of this. So, we form unhelpful stories:
“I just can't be consistent.”
“I'm not disciplined.”
“There's something wrong with me.”
And over time, it becomes our identity. Eventually, we start to believe, “I will never be someone who can follow through."
Today, we are making a change. And we are doing it through a neurodivergent friendly, evidence-based goal-setting method.
It’s called SPARK (yes, another acronym). But before you roll your eyes, hear me out!
This framework takes into account all of the aspects of neurodivergence that SMART goals miss.
Here’s what makes SPARK goals different:
Your goal is aligned with your values
You break down your goal into simple, weekly actions
You modify your environment to improve executive function
You use research-backed strategies to predict obstacles before they happen
You track your progress (and actually stick with it)
I’m going to walk you through it step by step.
Let’s dive in.
Why Goal Setting Fails for Neurodivergent Adults
Goal-directed persistence is one of our executive function skills. Dawson and Guare define it as “The capacity to have a goal, follow through to the completion of the goal, and not be put off by or distracted by competing interests.”
In other words, goal-directed persistence has three parts: setting the goal, planning, and action.
It's also highly complex. Goal-directed persistence requires other executive functions to be firing on all cylinders:
Planning
Task initiation
Emotional regulation
Working memory
Cognitive flexibility
And, there’s another piece at play here: cognitive load.
That’s just a fancy way of saying how much your brain is holding and processing at one time. For many neurodivergent adults, that load is already maxed out before the day even begins.
So when we try to hold a big goal, all the steps, the timeline, and our daily responsibilities in our head at once, something has to give.
Why Can’t I Accomplish My Goals?
People who set but don't accomplish goals tend to make one of these mistakes...
Goals are vague
Aren't aligned with values
Unrealistic based on time, energy, and capacity
Don’t account for environmental design
Forget to track progress
But the most common missing piece is a thoughtful plan.
According to the transtheoretical model, lasting behavior change flows through specific stages: precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance.
Because some neurodivergent people struggle with the executive function skill of impulse control, they jump from the contemplation stage to the action stage.
This is a recipe for failure.
Their environment isn't set up for success.
They haven't thought through the steps to reach the goal.
They didn't think about what they would do if they missed a day or made a mistake.
After a few weeks (maybe a month), they give up and enter the executive function shame spiral.
This is why SMART goals rarely work for neurodivergent adults. The system we are forcing is asking our brain to operate unnaturally.
Why SMART Goals Don't Work
SMART goals aren’t useless; they just aren’t enough.
They focus on clarity and measurability, which is helpful, but they miss important parts:
They don't ask you to plan a starting point
They don't prepare you for obstacles
They don't include systems to increase follow-through
They assume you will be consistent
When cognitive load is high, which it often is for adults with ADHD or who are autistic, a well-written SMART goal becomes overwhelming or forgotten.
Remember how I said there are three parts to goal setting? Setting, planning, and action. Well, SMART goals don't really fully support planning or action.
That's why we need a different approach.
The SPARK Method
After working with hundreds of neurodivergent adults and diving into research on motivation, behavior change, and executive function, I created a framework designed specifically for neurodivergent people.
It’s called SPARK. You can download the step-by-step guide and set your SPARK goal here.
S = Select the Right Goal
In this step, we choose and write a goal that is challenging, measurable, and aligned with our values.
To confirm our goal is values-oriented, ask these questions:
Which value is this aligned with?
Would I still pursue this if no one knew I accomplished it?
Does this feel chosen, pressured, or borrowed?
Research shows that we are more likely to sustain effort towards goals connected to personal values, and these goals are more likely to improve personal well-being. Don't skip this step.
Now you're ready to write. Writing down your selected goal is mandatory.
Why?
Because the research backs this up. Dr. Gail Matthews found that people who wrote down their goals accomplished significantly more than those who only thought about them.
P = Plan the Path
It's time to plan. Begin by breaking your goal into small, actionable milestones. If this feels challenging, use a free AI tool like Magic ToDo or one of my AI Prompts.
The key is to make each milestone an action, not an outcome. For example, if my long-term goal is "run a 5K", my first milestone will be "run 1K without stopping."
Once you establish each milestone, we need to prepare for obstacles using two evidence-based strategies: mental contrasting and implementation intentions.
Read your first milestone and imagine a future in which you didn't accomplish it.
Ask yourself, "What are the top three reasons why I wasn't successful?"
Write them down.
Create a solution for each obstacle you predicted. Write these as if-then statements:
If I sleep poorly, then I will walk during my lunch break.
If I am too busy to run on Thursdays, then I will run after work on Fridays.
If it rains, then I will do a high-intensity body weight workout indoors.
If this feels overwhelming, click here to download the free step-by-step guide.
A = Activate
Now it's time to start moving! Make the first action so simple you'd be silly not to do it.
Naturally, we might set the first action as “work on website", but that's not specific or simple. Instead, go with “open Wix and write headlines for 10 minutes.”
Notice the difference?
This helps manage procrastination, a common barrier for people with ADHD. As Russell Barkley’s work highlights...
The issue is not knowing what to do. It’s getting started.
R = Rig Your Environment
Modifying our environment is a powerful way to improve executive function while reducing our reliance on discipline, motivation, and willpower.
In the right environment, we feel focused, energized, and organized. But, in the wrong environment, starting can feel impossible.
Consider how you can adjust your environment so each milestone is memorable, obvious, and easy to start.
For example, you might use one of these strategies:
Visual cues, like sticky notes, on the bathroom mirror
Time blocks on your calendar (with reminders)
Prepare materials the night before
Establish no-phone zones to minimize distractions
Body doubling with Focused Space
K = Keep Score & Reward
This is the final step: determine how you will track and reward your progress.
Ideally, we are tracking progress daily. Because many ADHD brains struggle with long-term goals, working memory, and organization, a quick daily check-in keeps us on track and makes it easy to adjust on the fly.
Just remember to keep it simple.
I end my day with a reflection in my notes app:
What went well today?
What didn’t?
What will I do differently tomorrow?
Next, include how you will reward yourself for progress. Again, because people with ADHD are prone to instant gratification, make those rewards meaningful and often!
I get a coffee from a local cafe on Friday mornings if I reach my weekly goals.
Pro tip: Research shows that people are far more likely to achieve their goals if they reflect and share weekly progress with someone else. Maybe you and a friend can work together, hold each other accountable, and celebrate wins along the way!
A Full Example
Let’s say your goal is to “get in shape.”
S: You choose a goal aligned with health and longevity.
P: You plan two workouts per week and define success as “anything active.”
A: Your first step is “put on workout clothes.”
R: You place your workout clothes next to your bed and schedule workouts in your calendar.
K: You track each workout and reward yourself with a coffee at the end of the week.
See how "get in shape" became something way more achievable? Now, instead of relying on memory and motivation, we can rely on systems.
How To Start Setting Goals
If this feels like a lot, that’s okay. Here’s how you can use the SPARK method while keeping it simple:
Choose one goal.
Define a simple first step.
Schedule it on your calendar.
That’s it.
Remember, momentum builds from action, not planning or motivation.
Recap: How to Set Goals That Stick
Traditional goal-setting frameworks, like SMART goals, are rarely effective for neurodivergent people. That's because these frameworks assume we have strong executive function skills, like planning, sustained attention, and working memory.
If you consistently set but rarely achieve your goals, it might not be because of laziness, poor discipline, or weak motivation. It might be because you're using the wrong framework.
When goals are aligned with our values, clearly mapped out, and supported by systems that prepare for obstacles, everything changes.
We build self-trust.
We create consistency.
We start to follow through.
Enter the SPARK goal-setting method.
S = Write a measurable, challenging, and value-oriented goal
P = Plan the action steps, milestones, and solutions for common obstacles
A = Activate your momentum by adding the first step to your calendar
R = Rig your environment to make progress easier
K = Keep score and reward yourself often
If you'd like support applying this to your real life, I’m here to help.
Sometimes it takes another person asking the right questions to help us uncover what’s realistic, what’s aligned, and what’s possible.
Let’s build your vision together. Book a no-cost strategy session with me here.
In service,
Eric
FAQs
Why do neurodivergent adults struggle to achieve their goals?
Neurodivergent adults often struggle to achieve their goals because goal-directed persistence is a complex executive function skill that requires planning, task initiation, emotional regulation, working memory, and cognitive flexibility. When cognitive load is high, it becomes difficult to hold goals, steps, and daily responsibilities at the same time, which leads to overwhelm, inconsistency, and starting and stopping.
Why don’t SMART goals work for ADHD and autistic adults?
SMART goals focus on clarity and measurability, but they don’t support planning, action, or follow-through. They don’t prepare you for obstacles, don’t include systems for consistency, and assume you will naturally stay on track. For neurodivergent adults, especially those with ADHD or autism, this creates overwhelm because cognitive load is already high, making even well-written goals easy to forget or avoid.
What is the SPARK goal-setting method, and how does it help executive function?
The SPARK method is a neurodivergent-friendly, evidence-based goal-setting framework designed to improve executive function skills and follow-through. It includes selecting a values-aligned goal, planning actionable milestones, creating a simple starting step, rigging the environment with supports, and tracking progress with rewards and resets. This system reduces overwhelm, improves task initiation, and helps build consistency and self-trust over time.
Related Articles:
References
Barkley, R. A. (n.d.). The important role of executive functioning and self-regulation in ADHD [Fact sheet]. https://www.russellbarkley.org/factsheets/ADHD_EF_and_SR.pdf
Berkman, E. T. (2018). The neuroscience of goals and behavior change. Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research, 70(1), 28–44. https://doi.org/10.1037/cpb0000094
Dawson, P., & Guare, R. (2016). The smart but scattered guide to success: How to use your brain’s executive skills to keep up, stay calm, and get organized at work and at home. Guilford Press.
Locke, E. A., & Latham, G. P. (2002). Building a practically useful theory of goal setting and task motivation: A 35-year odyssey. American Psychologist. https://med.stanford.edu/content/dam/sm/s-spire/documents/PD.locke-and-latham-retrospective_Paper.pdf
Matthews, G. M. (2015). Goal setting and accountability: A research summary. Dominican University of California. https://www.dominican.edu/sites/default/files/2020-02/gailmatthews-harvard-goals-researchsummary.pdf
Oettingen, G. (2012). Future thought and behaviour change. European Review of Social Psychology, 23(1), 1–63. https://doi.org/10.1080/10463283.2011.643698
Pietsch, S., Riddell, H., Semmler, C., Ntoumanis, N., & Gucciardi, D. F. (2024). SMART goals are no more effective for creative performance than do-your-best goals or non-specific, exploratory “open goals”. Educational Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1080/01443410.2024.2420818
Prochaska, J. O., & DiClemente, C. C. (1983). Stages and processes of self-change of smoking: Toward an integrative model of change. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 51(3), 390–395. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.51.3.390
Sheldon, K. M., & Elliot, A. J. (1999). Goal striving, need satisfaction, and longitudinal well-being: The self-concordance model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76(3), 482–497. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.76.3.482
About the Author
Eric Kaufmann is an Educational Therapist, Certified Executive Function Coach, and speaker. He is the Co-founder of UpSkill Specialists, an executive function coaching company that helps adults and workplace teams overcome disorganization, procrastination, and productivity roadblocks.
Want to learn more about 1:1 coaching? Click here.
Interested in hosting a workshop for your team or company on how to improve executive function skills in the workplace? Click here.
Looking for guidance on how to become an adult executive function coach? Click here.
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